The Flawed and The Fabulous (with cheese)

Platters with Love (true and the actual business name…look them up and eat them today!)

This is a photo of a totally insane tabletop cheese, chocolate and charcuterie bar that greeted me at a Winter Solstice party I went to last night (Yes, mama was out past 8.30…just).

Despite spending a good portion of my night chatting to this smorgasbord of the devil’s temptation I did also manage to catch up with three women who I haven’t seen in years. Mama got social IRL (as the kids say).

These were three separate conversations with three totally unrelated spunky women all of which I started with a hug and a genuine greeting of “You look fucking fantastic!” I probably varied it up a bit but I most certainly used the word ‘fuck’ every time because it’s my favourite descriptor when I’m dead set serious.

And no word of a lie, these women absolutely did look fabulous. Smiling, dressed up for a fun night and I thought given the years that had passed since I’d seen each of them…just the same as I remember them. Awesome – in other words. And do you know how they all replied? Every single fucking one?

“Oh no I don’t. I’m fat. At least [insert number] kilos overweight. But thank you.”

It made me sad and then it made me mad.

If you can relate to this story and you reply to compliments like that then STOP IT. Just FUCKING STOP IT.

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! Go to the mirror right now and say something positive and wonderful about yourself because I know there’s a long list but you’re choosing to present the flaws before the fabulous. And that’s a very mean way to talk about yourself and a totally BORING way to talk to me about yourself.

Now I’m not suggesting that you don’t acknowledge if you’re feeling a bit overweight or unhealthy or whatever. I’m the first person to slay myself over excess baggage. So by all means, sort that shit out but reality check… YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL RIGHT NOW and start with that and then let the flaws come up later in the chat if you want. Of course it’s OK to talk flaws…that’s what sistas are for. Just don’t START with that. OK?

The original and still the best…

It’s no secret that I’ve not been the most active member of the family lately. This is for a myriad of reasons excuses but I refuse to beat myself up about it because LIFE. Oh, and also…I’m goddamn Wonder Woman slaying my own demons and dragons at the moment, so my energy is focussed on that thanks very much. Despite the things I know I need to improve I can now look in the mirror and say “all in good time dear Kim, use your power for good not evil self talk.”

Now excuse me while I get in my invisible plane and find something else to feel awesome about.

Tell me one awesome thing about yourself in the comments. If you want…totally up to you, keep it in your head if you like. But for fuck’s sake SAY IT would you sista? You’re worth more than a fat comment, especially when it’s coming from your own mouth! I love you and you’re awesome, from me who is simply flawed but over apologising for it. X

16 thoughts on “The Flawed and The Fabulous (with cheese)

  1. Absolutely can relate to this blog Kim, I went through exactly this last week, we need to learn to accept compliments graciously and not stress about the next stage of it.

  2. Well said Kim m & especially those of us with daughters need to be more positive with our self talk!! My daughter started saying to me when much younger-‘you’re beautiful mum’ & my reply was no im not! Then she would say that! So i had to start saying ‘thank you beautiful girl, so are you!!’ So that she can except a compliment without having a negative come back!!
    Love your work xx

  3. Another fantastic read Kim. Not sure I can really say I’m awesome though!!
    Happily plodding along as I am though. ?

  4. I’m awesome cause I went for a run around the tan and did a workout before knowing that I’d spectacularly fall off the 28 wagon last night, and again this morning. I was kid free for the first time in 18months and I had a best mates 40th, and a luxurious night at the Langham and went the whole hog…. I mean who could blame me with that buffet breakfast!!!

    I will jump back on board the 28 bus tonight for dinner, followed by some yoga to stretch out my stomach!!! And I will work really hard for the rest of this week to atone for a fabulous night filled with love, laughter & amazing food.

    Previously I would’ve beaten myself up about this instead I embraced it. So here I am dusting myself off, confessing my sins and loving the definition that I’m seeing on my arms for the first time in about 15 years.

    Sam wood is fabulous and life is good.

  5. Thanks Kim another blog that hits home with me. I get told by people all the time ‘you have lost weight’ my response is alway ‘yes but I have a terrible long way to go’. You have made me think about the positive – I have lost weight ? Yay! Thanks again I love reading your blogs. They are always good and even good for a laugh. Have a good one ???

  6. Thanks Kim….this is so true. I have lost weight & when people comment (as some are starting to do) I find myself saying “Hmmm, I can’t really tell, but thanks” or something like that. My husband tells me I’m beautiful, my daughter tells me I’m beautiful…I guess I now have to start telling myself….that is the key, so thank you for helping me see that 🙂

  7. Love your words, sadly we as women are very hard on ourselves – especially physically
    BUT we have so much inner strength, resilience and inner beauty
    It has taken me til now (53) to look at myself in the mirror and like/love my looks/appearance – even more who I am
    Love yourselves people x it shows on the outside

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